Will you stay single forever?
Let’s talk about marriage. I go first; I have never been married, and I think I never will. I recognize myself in many of these 14 major signs that you will never get married. In fact, they read like a map of my inner landscape.
Are you afraid you will never get married?
If you are searching for signs you will never get married out of fear, I hear you.
I don’t particularly want to get married.
But there is a particular pain that comes with always staying single while all your friends form long-term committed relationships. You start wondering if something is wrong with you.
Trying to understand myself was one of the reasons why I started HerBrilliantFriend.com. I wanted answers.
If you recognize yourself in the problem of wanting a relationship, but always staying single, I recommend checking out my article Accepting you will never find love, for a radical and different approach.
People change
Even if you tick every single box of the below signs that you will never get married, you might still get married.
Life is unpredictable. People do change.
All of us are in a constant state of transformation and yes, you do have control of the direction your life is taking you.
If you want to get married, your desire will triumph over all of the below signs.
1. You have a hard time finding someone
Are you often single?
Do you have a history of turning down potential suitors?
Are you desperately seeking to find the right man, but all you come up with are disappointments?
The harder time you have finding suitable candidates for the role of your future husband, the more likely you will stay unmarried.
The reason why you struggle is first and foremost that you are picky.
The second reason is that you are emotionally guarded. What I mean is that you have a tendency to find faults in nice available men. Am I right? You just don’t find them attractive enough.
Where is Mr. Right?
I know this, because that’s the story of my life.
If you are eager to hear more explanations, read my article Why is it so hard to find someone?
The basic line is, the fewer good candidates you find, the more likely you will stay unmarried.
The solution to this problem is surprisingly simple; you need to meet more men.
2. You are happier when you are single
You might, just like me, have had your fair share of relationships.
But now when you look back at those relationships, you realize that you were never happy. Instead, you were sad, frustrated, and sometimes even lonely.
The relationships didn’t feel like “you”
To be able to be in those relationships you had to make compromises. Probably there were things you didn’t like about your boyfriend. After a couple of years, he didn’t feel like “forever material,” and you left the relationship.
When you are single, on the other, you are strong.
You do fun things. You are good at pursuing your dreams. In fact, in many ways, you have the life you always wanted.
Being free
Many people stay single their whole life because they appreciate their freedom. Being in a long-term committed relationship means a lot of compromises and a lot of mental energy being spent on the relationship.
If you are looking for a solution to this problem, you are right; a relationship should not feel like it makes your life harder. Probably you have a tendency to pick the wrong men. No judgment; I do the same. But it is something for both of us to be aware of, moving forward.
3. Guys always leave you
Maybe it’s not you who are the dismissive one?
Quite the opposite, you have had relationships. But in the end, the man in question always chooses to leave the relationship, and you are left heartbroken, desperately wondering what went wrong.
Your problem is not falling in love, or even forming a relationship, it is keeping a relationship.
In fact, your biggest obstacle seems to be making someone want to invest in you enough to pop the question.
And now, after another failed dating situation, you have started to doubt that it will ever happen.
Are you full of self-doubt?
You are just not interesting or charming enough to keep a man for the rest of your life.
(That’s very harsh though patterns to deal with, by the way.)
If you recognize yourself in any of these signs that you will never get married, I strongly recommend reading I have nothing to offer in a relationship -How to fix this mindset. This problem is absolutely fixable. You don’t need to feel like this. Your thoughts are not the truth, they are just negative programming.
4. You have negative stories about marriage
This is one of the major signs of someone who will never get married. The person has many negative stories about marriage.
For example;
Married men always cheat.
All marriages end in divorce.
Married people secretly hate each other.
Marriage means constantly fighting.
Love always dies out.
self-fulfilling prophecy
I’m sure you can come up with your own negative stories; you have probably also heard those kinds of stories from men you have dated. Some people simply don’t view marriage as something positive.
When you have such a toxic thought pattern around an occurrence, you will always self-sabotage. Deep down, marriage scares you and as a result you will never get married.
5. You are too much of a free spirit
Do you like to spend time with yourself? Do you like to travel on your own and meet a lot of new people?
Life as unmarried is often more of an adventure. You can hook up with strangers. Dance under the moonlight and jump on the next plane to the Philippines. If you want you can pack up your few belongings and move to New Zeeland.
If any of this sounds like you, marriage is probably not your dream anyway.
Happiness comes in many forms
You are happy being on your own in this amazing big world.
Maybe you also like to be able to focus 100 percent on your career? Or perhaps you have a strong calling when it comes to helping other people? You view volunteering as more fulfilling than settling down. Fair enough.
Some people are meant to have a family, other people are simply meant to make the world a more beautiful place.
6. You don’t find marriage romantic
A lot of women dream about marriage. The white dress, the location, the chance to dance with the man of your dreams.
But many women nowadays have other dreams. Myself included. I’m focused on having great friends, being creative and developing my spiritual side. Being passionate about a lot of things is one of the top signs that you will never get married.
I had other aspirations
When I was a child, I never fantasized about getting married. I always knew I wanted to be a novelist and travel the world. Those dreams seemed like the cool thing to do.
For us to want to peruse something, we have to view it as a thing worth obtaining.
It can be that you don’t have any negative stories about marriage, but you also don’t have any positive ones. Marriage is simply not your dream.
7. Love scares you
Maybe you have plenty of suitable candidates. You are, after all, an attractive, interesting person. But you are just too afraid. The fear can be about a lot of things; being controlled, being left, opening up, being dependent. Your fear is unique and tells the story of your previous experiences.
Are you always pulling out when it comes to starting a relationship? Do you have a hard time falling in love? Do you grow bored and restless after a couple of months in couplehood?
All of the above is signs that you are emotionally shielded.
Your picker might be off
Do you pick unavailable guys? For example, married guys, or guys who live in another country?
Are you always stuck dating emotionally unavailable guys? The kind of guys who goes days or even weeks without texting. Check out my article Limerence -Everything you need to know, for additional information.
All of the above are telltale signs that you have a fear of intimacy.
If you are wondering how to deal with the problem, admitting love scares you is an important first step. You can also read How to stop being desperate, fortechniques on how to work on yourself.
8. You had a bad experience
Did you experience a toxic relationship?
Nothing keeps us from love and commitment more than a traumatic past experience.
Many people who never get married have suffered a lot of pain in the past. This can also be pain from their childhood and their parent’s tumultuous relationship.
Another common reason is past trauma with drug abuse and alcoholism. Maybe you had a partner with substance abuse issues. Or you have experienced unfaithfulness in the past. Being able to trust after being betrayed is extremely hard.
A lasting impression
The thing with bad experiences is that they imprint on us very strongly.
If you are a victim of a car crash, you might be afraid of driving for the rest of your life. Despite the fact that you have been safe in your car thousands of times, your body will always refer back to that single time when you were in danger.
The human mind always strives for survival. If you have been burnt, you associate relationships and marriage with taking a huge risk. Rather than going there, you choose to stay unmarried.
9. You have never been in a long-term committed relationship
There could be a lot of different reasons why you haven’t met anyone.
No judgment, ok. Don’t be hard on yourself either.
Most people don’t jump straight into married life. Instead, they have a long string of past relationships. In those relationships, they realize what they like and what they need in a relationship.
A relationship roadblock
If you haven’t had a single relationship, chances are that there is something specific that blocks you. This very same time will also block you from marriage.
If you start dating a man and find out that he hasn’t had any relationships, yes, this is one of the signs that he will never get married.
Then again, most people, even the diehard bachelor, do get married at some point.
10. You are hard to satisfy
I like only the best for myself. One could say I’m a bit of a perfectionist.
I picked a beautiful home, I love my career, and I like to eat nice food and buy myself nice clothes. In all areas of my life, I like things to be well-made and stylish.
As you might have guessed, I’m pretty picky when it comes to men as well. I have been in relationships, but those men simply didn’t live up to my high standard.
This perfectionism is probably a way to protect myself; it’s also one of the reasons why I’m still single. I didn’t settle.
Always searching for the best
The men who do like me, I often find faults in them. Since people are far from perfect, I always find something that makes a common future impossible.
None of them have even been close to being “forever material.”
At this point, I wouldn’t even know what the perfect man would look like. But I think we can both agree that he doesn’t exist. I either learn to compromise or I will never get married.
11. You don’t like to compromise
The more individualistic you are, the more likely you will never get married. I say this without judgment, so don’t judge yourself. I love to make my own choices.
In my previous relationships, I was always the one to leave.
Another thing I don’t like about relationships is that couples tend to take one another’s feelings. When your spouse is upset, you have to try and make them happy again. You feel responsible for your partner’s emotional state. This lack of independence can be very draining.
Adjustment is not your forte
Married people are the first to point out that marriage is one long compromise. You have to adjust to your better half. Taking another person into consideration is an important aspect of a happy marriage.
If you are very particular about how you like things, you might realize that marriage is not for you. That just means that you have great self-perception.
12. You don’t like long-term commitments
Some people love to make promises. They don’t even care if they will be able to keep them. They promise themselves to lose 10 kg or to go running every day, only to sink deeper into their Netflix marathon.
But you might be a person who takes commitment and promises seriously. In fact, when you give your word, it’s imperative for you to keep it.
Because of this, you would never agree to marriage unless you felt 100 percent certain. Being high principled is one of the signs that you will never get married.
Nothing is ever certain
The thing is, you rarely feel that certain about anything in life. People who get married push their doubt to the side, and often it works out. They take a leap of faith.
But that’s not your style, you are a literal person, and you are proud of this quality.
You might never be ready for marriage, and that’s Ok with you.
13. You haven’t figured out your own life yet
When it comes to men, this is a common sign that they are not ready for marriage. They simply are not where they want to be in their life.
I’m sure a lot of women can recognize themselves as well.
If you don’t feel financially stable, or if you don’t know which city you want to live in, or which career to choose, marriage is probably not on your mind. You might not know if you want children or not. And you feel you should be able to provide your future spouse those answers.
The only problem with this sort of thinking is that you might never be ready.
You are a person who feels like you need to have everything figured out to take the next step.
14. You don’t like marriage as an institution
Marriage has been used to oppress women for centuries.
100 years ago, a woman gave up her freedom when she got married, she was one of her husband’s belongings. In some countries, this is still the meaning of marriage.
Knowing all of this, you just can’t get behind marriage. In fact, there is nothing romantic about binding your life to another human. Since you have the choice, you rather keep your independency, thank you very much.
You have bigger fish to fry
You also resent the way people keep asking you when you are getting married. The act as if finding a man and locking him done is the sole purpose of life on earth. You simply don’t agree
You will never pay homage and succumb to an oppressive and outdated institution.
A Final Note
Whether you long for marriage or believe it to be an outdated institution, these signs that you will never get married tell you something about yourself.
Understanding exactly why you have a complicated relationship with marriage will help you heal wounds from the past. Marriage or no marriage, your future is yours to shape and enjoy.
