Have you spent restless nights thinking about your crush and wondering if you are on their mind too? The hardest and the most frustrating part of falling in love is not knowing whether the other person feels the same way about you. This can leave you wondering how to tell if someone likes you. Well, the good news is that if a guy has feelings for you, there will always be subtle signs he secretly loves you. Yes, even if he is trying hard to keep his feelings under wraps.
Even the most introverted and shyest of guys give off certain signals to make it obvious that they secretly love you. Yes, it is natural to get confused and baffled because love is quite a complicated thing. So how to know if a guy loves you secretly? We’re here to help you put that dilemma to rest with not 1, not 2, but 27 undeniable signs that he is secretly crazy about you.
27 Undeniable Signs He Secretly Loves You
Most guys are confident and do not hesitate in expressing their love and making the first move. However, some guys are genuinely shy and only give out very subtle signs to show their admiration toward the girl they’re interested in. They do find ways to make their love known but this is not direct or forward and can often be missed by girls.
If you have a crush on a shy guy and are dying to know whether he likes you secretly, we are here to put an end to your confusion. Once you learn to spot the tell-tale indicators that a guy loves you secretly, you will have all the clarity you need about where you stand with him and what your next steps should be. Let’s take a look at the signs that he secretly loves you but may be too shy to admit it:
1. If a guy secretly loves you, he will always smile when you are around
How to tell if he loves you? Well, start by paying attention to how he behaves around you. As we said before, the signs he secretly has feelings for you will always be there. All you need is to look out for them. The biggest giveaway of his feelings is that endearing smile that he will just not be able to rein in when he sees you.
But is a smile enough to deduce that he is secretly crazy about you? Well, it’s the way he smiles that will tell you all you need to know. Here are a few ways the way he smiles at you will be different:
- He won’t just smile, your presence will light up his face
- Seeing you will bring a smile to his face even when he is having a bad day
- Even if he is in a bad mood and avoiding other people, he will still greet you with a smile
2. The guy makes an effort to talk to you
When a guy loves you secretly, he will put in the effort in nurturing the relationship he already shares with you, making sure you see the potential of it turning into something more. Whether he is your best friend, coworker, or just an acquaintance, he will miss no opportunity to talk to you. If you know him to be a shy guy, it means he is doing something that is out of his comfort zone just so that he can get to know you better. That is one of the most telling signs of a shy guy in love.
One of our readers, who identifies as a shy introvert, told us the lengths he would go to to make sure he had something in common with his now-wife. When they first became friends, he was too intimidated to have one-on-one conversations with her and thus only interacted with her in a group setting. She was fascinated by Indian mythology and he claims that he became an expert on the subject in just over two weeks. This is an absolute sign a guy likes you as more than a friend.
3. He keeps his promises
One of the tell-tale signs a guy is totally in love with you is that he will take even the smallest promises made to you seriously and go the extra mile to ensure you’re not disappointed. Under no circumstances would he like to annoy or upset you by not living up to his word. This commitment to never let you down is one of the subtle signs of his interest in you.
These promises don’t have to be grand or larger than life, he won’t promise you the moon and stars. Some examples of how invested a guy who secretly loves you can be in keeping his word are:
- He travels halfway across town to get you the dessert he promised he would
- He calls when he promises to
- He shows up to meet you even in the pouring rain
- The plans made with you – be it going to the movies or getting coffee – don’t slip his mind no matter how busy he is
4. The guy tries to highlight the commonality between the two of you
Wondering how to know if someone loves you secretly online or IRL? You may want to start paying attention to his attempts to find common ground to connect over. Maybe it is his way of telling you what a good fit you’d be for each other and indicating his willingness to settle down with you. Or perhaps, he is looking for ways to spend time with you, doing things you both enjoy.
This is his way of letting you know that you both are very compatible and can think about a future together. He will want to be a part of your life and get to know you better in your comfort zone. This is an absolute sign he loves you without saying it.
5. A guy who secretly loves you will find excuses to be with you
“Does he secretly have feelings for me?” If this question has been weighing on your mind, one of the subtle signs to look for is his desire to spend as much time with you as possible. Does he stick around and wait for you when he can actually go home? Does he wait to eat his lunch until you’re ready to grab a bite? Classic signs he secretly loves you.
If you notice he is trying to find excuses to spend time with you, then you can be sure that he likes you. Introverts express love in subtle ways and rarely make grand romantic gestures. So, you’d need to be more attentive to how he behaves around you to know if a guy, especially if he is the shy kind.
6. Flirting with you comes naturally to him
Flirting is a clear sign that someone is interested in you. But how do you tell if someone has real feelings for you? Well, whenever he flirts with you, it is absolutely effortless. He will use cute one-liners spontaneously, and for some reason, you will always laugh. He will make eye contact and hold your gaze, and you will feel a shiver go down your spine. This mix of humor and playfulness with the right hint of intense feelings is among the qualities that women admire in men and also one of the most common ways guys hint they like you.
7. He remembers everything that you say to him
How to know if someone likes you back? What are the signs someone is secretly in love with you? These can seem like very confusing questions but they really aren’t. The answers are often simple and right before your eyes. For instance, when a guy secretly likes you, he will remember every little thing you say to him.
What kind of things, you may wonder. Well, when a guy loves you secretly, he will remember:
- Your favorite color
- Issues you are facing at work
- How you like your coffee
- Your go-to song when you are in a bad mood
He won’t even have to go the extra mile to remember these little details because he is always attentive and never misses a thing you say, no matter how trivial. This is his way of showing his affection toward you and letting you know how important you are to him. Well, don’t they say love is visible in the smallest of gestures?
8. A guy who likes you will be conscious around you
A man who is secretly in love with you will want you to think highly of him and, therefore, will always be conscious of what he says, how he dresses and looks. You might find him wearing your favorite color more often and dressing in ways that you find attractive. Even though he may not be ready to express his feelings yet, he wants to make sure that you find him attractive. He is surely displaying some of the most classic signs he secretly wants you. If you like him too, maybe drop a hint that will give him the confidence to take things forward.
9. He defends you in front of others
His secret love for you will make him very protective of you, and you’ll notice that he’s always got your back. If you find yourself in a tight spot, he will be there to support and defend you. If he feels you were in the wrong, then chances are he will speak to you about it in private but in public, you will always find him standing up for you.
He will want you to think you can rely on him and will almost never put you down or let others put you down. This does not mean that he will not playfully tease you but he will never do or say something that is insensitive or hurtful. This is because when a guy secretly loves you, his hero instinct automatically kicks in.
10. He uses social media to stay in touch with you
How to know if someone likes you online? See if they’re trying to build a special connection with you in the virtual realm. For instance, a guy who is secretly crazy about you will make an effort to continuously stay in touch with you and get updates on your life through social media accounts and instant messengers. His social media and online behavior patterns will send out clear signs a man likes you, such as:
- He sends you thoughtful good night and good morning messages (not random forwards)
- If you post a story, he’s most probably the first one to heart-react to it
- If he sees you online, he’s sure to DM
- He tries his best to keep text conversations with you going, sometimes late into the night
11. His friends know all about you
One of the clearest signs a man has feelings for you is that his inner circle knows all about you. You may not know all his friends but they surely know who you are. His friends may even tease him about his love life in front of you or make subtle digs at how you guys are perfect for each other. This will make him blush because he secretly agrees with them and feels that he shares a special connection with you. This is among the surest signs he secretly loves you but is hiding it.
12. His body language acts as a big indicator
A guy who does not use his words to express his emotions will use his body language to let you know what is on his mind. If he leans toward you while you are talking to him, then it means he is interested in you. If he frequently fidgets, then it means he is nervous around you.
He will always want to be as close to you as possible and will always jump at the chance of sitting next to you in group settings. He will always maintain eye contact and let you know with his body language that you have his full attention. Some of the most obvious signs of a shy guy in love are hidden in the way his body reacts to your presence.
13. The guy does not shy away from physical contact
While respecting you and your boundaries, he might try to make physical contact with you by touching your hands, patting your shoulder, hugging you, etc. If you are the one initiating contact, then a shy guy may be shocked at first, but eventually will be okay with you being close to him and will reciprocate your advances. You can tell a lot about his feelings by the way a guy approaches you.
This physical proximity will be oddly comforting for him – and you, if you feel the same way about him. Soon you will have established a comfort zone where your flirtatious moves venture into the physical plane with subtle advances like your fingers momentarily intertwining with each other’s, a lot of accidental brushes, and affectionate touches. This is a sign the guy loves you deeply.
14. Your thoughts and opinions matter to him
One of the signs a guy is totally in love with you is that he’ll attach a lot of value to your opinions of him. He will ask for your opinion when he is in trouble or confused about something. If he is ever faced with a dilemma or has some life-changing decision to make, he will turn to you for support and advice.
Even if your opinions differ, he will intently listen to you and value what you have to say. Showing that they know what it takes to respect a woman in a relationship is among the ways guys hint they like you. Given that he has real feelings for you, he doesn’t even have to try too hard to make you feel that way. Love and respect for you will come naturally to him.
15. He shares his thoughts with you
When a guy secretly likes you or is in love with you, he will feel comfortable sharing his thoughts with you. He’d open up to you as he does with no one else. You will notice him sharing his feelings and vulnerabilities, and pouring out his heart to you. Even if he is an introvert and is afraid to open up to people, he will be at ease around you. This is an early sign of true love from a man who may be too shy to express his feelings to you.
16. He tries to keep you happy
When a guy loves you, he wouldn’t want to risk losing you or the special connection he shares with you. And that’s why he will do everything in his power to keep you happy. He will not only make sure that you feel safe and secure in his company but also that you have a good time. Here are some signs a man values you and wants you to see how happy he can make you:
- He pays you genuine compliments and always has nice things to say about you
- He shows his humorous side to create a lasting impression on your mind
- He may playfully annoy you too, just to build a rapport with you
- He will also go out of his way to make sure that you get what you want
17. The guy does not feel awkward looking at you
How to tell if someone likes you? Even if he is trying his best to hide his real feelings, his eyes will give it all away. You might catch him looking at you lovingly, especially when you are not looking at him. When a man is falling in love, he can’t help but try to take you in with his eyes.
However, he will not feel awkward doing this because he adores you and this is how he shows he secretly loves you. You might catch his eye and the fact that you are noticing this is making him stare at you more.
18. The guy notices every change you make in your appearance/apparel
When a man remembers the tiniest details about your appearance and notices the smallest changes, it’s a clear sign he is invested in you. A new haircut? A new dress? Or a new pair of shoes? He will notice it all. This attention to detail is among the most telling signs he loves you secretly. He might even go one step ahead and compliment you on it.
19. His tone of voice is different
The way he speaks to you will be markedly different from the way he speaks to other girls. When he talks to you, he will probably make it a point to speak softly, charmingly, and pleasantly. The tone of this voice, the intensity of his gaze will make something stir inside of you as well. Even when you speak to him on the phone, he’d talk in a low, sexy tone. You might notice the tone of his voice is different with other people because they are not special, you are. This is an early sign that he has caught feelings for you.
20. The guy mimics your actions
One of the subconscious signs a man has feelings for you is that he’d begin to mimic your actions. He might mirror the way you move your hand, the way you sit or talk. He may arrange his desk just like yours or get the same water bottle or phone case as yours.
He may even try to bring to your notice that he is doing things the way you like. If you have been struggling to decode the signs he loves you secretly, pay attention to this. Since mimicking your actions is a subconscious manifestation of attraction, it’s hard to hide.
21. He surprises you with gifts
The gifts he gives you may not be luxurious or expensive but they will always be thoughtful. Like a box of chocolates with a handwritten note ahead to wish you luck ahead of an important event or a hand-bound book with a leather cover because he knows how much you love collecting them. Or a nice pen, perhaps.
It’s a sign that a man remembers the littlest things about you, and what’s important to you matters to him. These simple gestures are his way of telling you how much he loves you, without saying anything at all.
22. Your special days are special for him as well
If a man remembers your birthday and any other special days in your life, he obviously likes you. He will even celebrate and go the extra mile to make you feel special and let you know how much you mean to him. In fact, he pulls all stops to make your special days memorable for you.
If it’s your birthday, he might plan a surprise for you. If you get a promotion, he may show up at your door with a bouquet and take you out to celebrate. Such thoughtfulness is rare nowadays, and the fact that he is going above and beyond for you makes it clear how special you’re to him.
23. He is always texting you
How to tell if someone likes you through text? How to know if someone loves you secretly online? If you’re losing sleep over these questions because picking up on the signs he loves you secretly when you’re not together can truly be baffling, pay attention to the effort he puts into staying in touch with you constantly.
If a guy is sharing the minutest details of his day with you over text, be assured you are on his mind all the time. Not only will he initiate texting but will also reply quickly to any text you send him. From good morning to good night texts to sharing jokes and memes and giving you a blow-by-blow account of his day, he’d practically spend his whole day with you, albeit virtually.
24. He asks you a lot of questions
If someone likes you, they’d want to know a lot about you. So, if a guy has been crushing on you, he’d ask you questions to know you better. And these questions will not be superficial – they are aimed at knowing the real you, not just the side of yourself you present to the world. Given that real intimacy can be so rare nowadays, his earnest efforts to really get to know you is one of the clearest signs a man likes you.
25. You are introduced to his inner circle
How to tell if someone likes you? They let you into their inner circle. While he may not have gathered the nerve to tell you how he feels, he’s truly exhibiting the signs he secretly wants you. Here’s what these signs may translate into:
- He introduces you to his loved ones
- He invites you to a family event – Thanksgiving dinner, a birthday party
- He asks you to join him and his friends for a movie outing
- He asks you to be his plus one at a wedding
These are all signs the guy sees you as a permanent part of his life. Chances are when you meet his loved ones, they’d lavish you with attention, care, and pampering because they know how much you mean to him.
26. He displays hints of jealousy
How to know if someone loves you secretly online or IRL? Well, one unmistakable giveaway is the hint of jealousy that will shine through in his words, behavior, and body language if a third person gets involved in the equation. Let’s say, some guy asks you out and you agree to go on a date with him. It’s bound to rile up the guy who has been harboring intense feelings for you.
You may notice that he is sulking, brooding, or not being his usual endearing self around you. Now, we don’t recommend that you flaunt your proximity to or interest in another man just to get him jealous. But if there is someone else who’s interested in you, try to nonchalantly mention it to him. And you will no longer have to fret over the signs he secretly loves you but is hiding it.
27. He’s no longer looking to date
One of the clearest signs he loves you secretly is that he’s gone off the dating game completely – uninstalling dating apps, not checking out other girls, or even texting potential romantic interests. It’s not hard to understand why. He has already found the one in you, and everyone else just pales in comparison.
He is ready to be in an exclusive relationship with you and would naturally want to concentrate on all his energies and efforts in wooing you and trying to get you to go out with him. So, yes, a lull in his dating life is the biggest indicator of a guy’s feelings for you.
Key Pointers
- A guy may have intense feelings for you but may choose not to be vocal about it because he is shy or unsure of how you’d respond
- However, the way men treat women can clearly convey how they really feel
- If a guy is secretly in love with you, there will be signs – some subtle, others more obvious – in his behavior, body language, and demeanor around you
- Once you notice these signs, your next steps will depend on whether or not you want to be with him. If you do, it won’t hurt for you to make the first move.
Remember the signs he secretly wants you are always there. You just need to know where to look. We hope these signs are enough to help erase all your doubts about the love and affection a guy has toward you and you now have a clear idea of how best to navigate the situation, depending on whether or not you like him back.
