Our 4-step guide to meeting the one
You want to meet an amazing man. This task can seem difficult and daunting, but it really comes down to 4 key areas. With this guide, you will get complete control of the process. You will also be able to see in which area you are falling short. How to find a good man can be a fun and rewarding process with a generous side dish of personal development.
Embark on a journey
As you go through this process, I strongly recommend that you approach it in a serious and scientific way.
Do give yourself a rating on how you show up in the 4 key areas. Try to improve that rating month by month.
I also urge you to journal about all the different aspects of the process. When you start meeting men, pick your front runners and analyze them. Also, journal about your own behavior and your feelings.
1. How to find him
I think we can all agree that finding him is a key component when it comes to meeting a good man.
Where is he?
Many people complain about this part of the process, saying things like “There are no good men.”
Don’t fall into this trap. To be successful in your mission, you have to keep a positive attitude.
Most women don’t meet enough suitable men
You would be surprised how many women want to find a good man but overlook this absolutely crucial area. Ask yourself how many new interesting men you met any given month. Trying to increase that number is the first key component to meeting your match.
Finding the one is a numbers game.
Never lose focus on this aspect and you are already halfway to success.
Most people who don’t meet a man, don’t manage because they simply don’t meet enough men. They might meet zero single accomplished men in a month. Obviously, they are not going to meet anyone under those circumstances.
Meet more men
This is your first mission, and it starts now. Your aim should be to meet one possible candidate each week.
By the term meeting, I don’t mean simply laying your eyes on him. Seeing a handsome man in the grocery store does not count.
The two of you have to have a 5-minute conversation. You can find out a lot about someone in the course of 5 minutes. For example, you should be able to find out if he is single.
Try a new hobby
How am I going to achieve this, you might ask?
The answer is that you will have to engage in a couple of new hobbies or interests. In fact, anything that forces you to leave your apartment counts.
You will not find a good man in your apartment, simple as that.
In the name of science, track your progress, how often do you interact with new people?
Get yourself involved
If you are serious about meeting a good man, I propose doing good deeds yourself. Good men are easier to be found doing good. Examples of this can be volunteering, becoming more engaged in your spiritual community, or getting involved in an important political issue.
Online dating
To increase the number of men you sit down and have a conversation with, online dating is a good alternative. You will know that they are single and that they are indeed looking for someone. (Well, not everyone is honest.)
Online dating is not for everyone. Check out our post Is online dating a waste of time? to find out if this strategy suits you.
Utilize your friends
When you want to find a good man, it is important to keep in mind how people actually meet. A good chunk of the world’s couples met through common friends.
This fact is also why it’s so important to increase your social network. Sure you might not meet your guy going to a church lunch, but one of those ladies might know someone that would fit you. If you are brave, you can let people know that you are looking.
By extending your social circle you will extend the number of good men you come in contact with.
2. How to choose him
The first step of this simple 4-step process is to meet more men, the second step is to hone in on your ability to pick the right man.
If you are stuck in a pattern of picking men that are not good, it doesn’t matter if I present you with 100 excellent men. You will just go ahead and find the idiot in the back that’s not even ready for a relationship.
You are responsible for the people you let into your life
Don’t trick yourself and blame your shortcomings on the universe, that’s a weak person’s excuse. Don’t tell me that all men are idiots.
I trust you; you know how to pick a good man. Just make sure you make that choice in the real world.
Soul-searching
This step requires a certain amount of self-examination. Do you have a history of picking the wrong men? What drew you to them? Were there red flags you should have spotted earlier on?
The more you figure out where you have errored in the past, the less likely that you repeat the same mistakes.
Asking the right questions
When you meet men, you have to ask them questions to find out what makes them tick and if they are indeed a good match.
Here at HerBrilliantFriend.com we have several articles that tell you which questions you should be asking and what you should be looking for. Check out my article Top 33 second date questions to spark romance, for ideas on what to ask.
Journaling about what you want
Once again, journaling and analyzing your behavior becomes important.
You need to know what you want in a man and the men that don’t match your description need to be cut out. If you want a man who is good at communicating, don’t accept a man that texts once a week.
This is really a crucial aspect when you ask how to find a good man. Read my article What are you looking for in a man? To take a closer look at what you want.
Make sure that you do the picking. (Not the other way around.)
3. How to fall for him
The third and often overlooked step is about you falling in love.
Ultimate, how to find a good man is about evoking those butterflies. It’s about excitement and sexual awakening.
I know this step can be tricky if you have been hurt in the past.
Daring to trust does not come easily. But if you are not brave enough to fall in love, you cannot reach your goal.
Do you have an easy time falling in love?
You might know how to pick a good man out of the crowd, but that skill is useless if you don’t fall for him.
You know good men, right? Some of them might even be single?
Challenge yourself to choose the kind of man that will treat your right. A sweet, caring man with a big heart.
How can you prepare yourself to fall in love?
If you are afraid to fall in love, the reason behind this will be unique to you and your past. But the solution will be the same, regardless of the specific nature of your trauma.
Journaling about your fears will help a lot. Other things that make you feel more grounded are meditation, yoga and mindfulness.
Falling in love is about the relationship we have with ourselves
If you are always busy, you will subconsciously block yourself from falling in love. You will tell yourself that you are not safe. You will feel like you always have to perform. As a result, you don’t feel connected to yourself and making a connection to another healthy soul will be beyond your reach.
Connect with yourself
To actually fall in love with the right man, you have to have a deep and loving relationship with yourself. To find out more, check out this inspiring lady.
4. How to make him fall for you
When people have a hard time finding a good man, they usually err in one of these 4 steps. To finally crack the love puzzle you must find out where you make your error and in what way.
There is no shame in struggling with love. I’m single myself, so I know the pain.
Does he not feel the same way?
Thus, I have to ask you if you often fall for unavailable men or men that don’t reciprocate your feelings?
This is a common problem among people who have a hard time finding a good man. They set themselves up for failure by choosing the wrong man, to begin with. A man who is, for one reason or another, not interested in them.
Avoid the wrong men
Moving forward, be vigilant in the process of steering clear of those men.
Finding a good man is about avoiding the wrong men. If you spend time falling in love with someone who doesn’t share your goals, you keep yourself from connecting with the right man.
All this is to say that you shouldn’t try to make the wrong man fall in love with you. It will be like banning your head against a brick wall.
Have a fun and interesting life
To be able to attract a nice man, you should have a nice well-rounded life. People who have their life under control are attracted to other people who have their life under control.
Whatever quality you want in a man, make sure you yourself have this quality.
Have fun with the process
If you are wondering what makes a man fall for a woman, I recommend reading my article on the subject How to make someone fall in love with you.
Good men want someone who is fun and stimulating to be around. Make sure you enjoy yourself through this whole process. Finding the one is an exciting adventure.
Improve your flirting skills
Many people fail to capture a good man because they have zero flirting skills. They are afraid of showing their sexual desire and thus they never evoke sexual desire in the man in question. Don’t make this mistake, check out How to flirt with a man.
Dating is about sexual chemistry. Since you will interact with a lot of men you will have a lot of opportunities to sharpen those skills.
A Final note
How to find a good man is a good question. Don’t let all the naysayers around the internet discourage you.
To find him, you will develop new skills, go on unexpected adventures and enjoy romantic dates. You will also work on the relationship you have with yourself and improve all areas of your life.
After all, this journey you are about to undertake is one you might only get to do once. When you finally meet him, you are looking at 50 happy years together.
